The key issue with narcissistic parents is that, despite the focus seeming to be on their child, there is actually very little regard for the child in their parenting style. How do narcissistic
parents damage their children? Often by disregarding boundaries, manipulating them by withholding affection, and neglecting to meet their children’s needs because their needs come first. Because the image is so important to Narcissists, they may demand perfection from their children.
A Narcissistic parent-child bond is often so distorted and damaging, that the child often grows up and gravitates towards destructive, unstable, highly dramatic relationships – especially with romantic partners. Because they didn’t grow up with the belief that they were intrinsically alright, they tend to be drawn toward stormy relationships later on. These adults cannot adapt to someone who loves them consistently, and the experience would be so unfamiliar that it would cause major anxiety in them. Accordingly, these individuals tend to seek out partners who are emotionally unavailable, critical, or withholding – just like their Narcissistic parent was in the past. In short, the only kind of relationship the adult child of a Narcissist really fits in with is one with a highly skewed dynamic: The child of the
Narcissists must cater to and keep their partner happy, even when that involves squashing her own needs and feelings.