Your Feelings Are Not Always Based On Facts

June 3,2022 By: Mansi poddar

Yes, your feelings are valid – meaning that

  • You’re allowed to feel them
  • It’s important to acknowledge and accept them
  • There are no ‘wrong’ feelings
  • They can give you valuable information
  • They, and their impacts, are real
  • You have the right to feel the way you do

However, our feelings are not always based on reality.

Sometimes we might misunderstand things, project our own insecurities or anxieties onto people or situations, or interpret a neutral situation in a negative manner because we’re used to certain things leading to bad consequences.

Sometimes it’s our inner child talking. Sometimes we react to a new situation based on our past wounds – even though the actual situation is, in reality, nothing like the situation it reminds us of.

The stories we tell ourselves about certain situations have a tendency to elicit strong emotions. These stories aren’t always true, though. For example, if we struggle with an abandonment wound, when our friend doesn’t respond to a text, we might feel hurt, abandoned, and get angry – because we end up telling ourselves a story where our friend is also abandoning us, just like someone else did. In reality, the friend might be busy, overwhelmed, or their phone might’ve run out of battery.

Yes, your feelings are valid, and…

  • They’re not facts
  • Things aren’t always what they feel like
  • Acting on them isn’t always sensible
  • The stories behind them aren’t always true
  • Communication, critical thinking, and self-awareness are also necessary
  • They might not be accurate representations of present reality