Mansi Poddar- Trauma Informed Psychotherapist Working Globally

psychotherapist in India by Mansi Poddar

In Indian society, the archetype of the "good woman" is revered-and deeply problematic. She is expected to be self-sacrificing, soft-spoken, family-oriented, and obedient. She exists for others: to serve her husband, raise children, uphold her family's honor, and put everyone's needs before her own. This idealized image may seem virtuous on the surface, but it has long functioned as a silencing force, eroding the agency, individuality, and emotional well-being of countless women.

The "good Indian woman" doesn't raise her voice. She doesn't complain. She endures. Whether it's staying in an unhappy marriage, prioritizing in-laws over her mental health, or giving up personal dreams to fit traditional molds-she is praised for her ability to adjust. But what is often called "adjustment" is, in truth, suppression.Will you ask yourself the questions that lead you to a soul led life?

Objectification and Obedience

A woman's body in this cultural context is rarely seen as her own. Instead, it becomes a symbol of family honor, an object for male pleasure, or a vessel for reproduction. Her choices-how she dresses, whom she marries, how she speaks-are scrutinized and controlled. The "good woman" is not taught to ask: What brings me joy? What feels right for me? Instead, she is conditioned to ask: Will this bring shame? Will I be accepted?

This silent conditioning leads to a lifetime of internalized shame, disembodiment, and emotional exhaustion. Women learn to disconnect from their desires and intuition. Pleasure becomes taboo. Assertiveness becomes rebellion. Autonomy becomes selfishness.

The Cost of Being "Good"

The pressure to be perpetually accommodating can have serious mental health consequences. Many Indian women suffer from anxiety, depression, burnout, and low self-worth-not because they are broken, but because they've been living in roles that break them.

This model leaves no room for women who are assertive, queer, child-free, ambitious, or emotionally expressive. It renders invisible those who cannot-or choose not to-fit the mold

Reclaiming Voice and Agency

To move beyond the "good woman" archetype, Indian women must reclaim their right to voice, body, and truth. This means:
- Naming the conditioning: Recognizing how culture shaped your beliefs about what makes you "acceptable" or "worthy."
- Returning to the body: Reconnecting with sensations, pleasure, and intuition that were long suppressed.
- Redefining goodness: Shifting from obedience to authenticity, from sacrifice to self-worth.- Setting boundaries: Understanding that saying "no" is not a betrayal-but a reclamation of agency

Final Thoughts

The "good Indian woman" was never meant to thrive-she was meant to serve. It's time to retire that role. You are not here to uphold patriarchy dressed as tradition. You are not here to disappear behind a mask of perfection.
You are here to be. Loud, soft, bold, complex. Fully yourself. And that, in itself, is radical. , whom she marries, how she speaks-are scrutinized and controlled. The "good woman" is not taught to ask: What brings me joy? What feels right for me? Instead, she is conditioned to ask: Will this bring shame? Will I be accepted?
This silent conditioning leads to a lifetime of internalized shame, disembodiment, and emotional exhaustion. Women learn to disconnect from their desires and intuition. Pleasure becomes taboo. Assertiveness becomes rebellion. Autonomy becomes selfishness

The Cost of Being "Good"

The pressure to be perpetually accommodating can have serious mental health consequences. Many Indian women suffer from anxiety, depression, burnout, and low self-worth-not because they are broken, but because they've been living in roles that break them.
This model leaves no room for women who are assertive, queer, child-free, ambitious, or emotionally expressive. It renders invisible those who cannot-or choose not to-fit the mold.

Reclaiming Voice and Agency

Final Thoughts

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